He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
