Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
