i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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