Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Randomize
