i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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