I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
