I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
