So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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