So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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