My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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