I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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