I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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