The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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