i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
