spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
