apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize