OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
