Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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