Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick