Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.

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(734): Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics. http://tfl.nu/seve

Replies (1) Good night (657) Bad night (1132) Order T-Shirt
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(913): View more from Kansas

Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.

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(913): Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it. http://tfl.nu/o6yg

Replies (16) Good night (3298) Bad night (914) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.

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(815): I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair. http://tfl.nu/f22e

Replies (12) Good night (596) Bad night (3825) Order T-Shirt
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.

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(337): Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things. http://tfl.nu/jc42

Replies (9) Good night (1057) Bad night (2990) Order T-Shirt
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(807): View more from Ontario

I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.

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(807): I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina. http://tfl.nu/rpnu

Replies (46) Good night (7205) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Girls should come with a carfax report

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(910): Girls should come with a carfax report http://tfl.nu/ithx

Replies (55) Good night (7090) Bad night (1590) Order T-Shirt
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(518): View more from New York

you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face

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(518): you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face http://tfl.nu/32pr

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(503): View more from Oregon

Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.

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(503): Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie. http://tfl.nu/g56z

Replies (13) Good night (3562) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.

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(508): All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed. http://tfl.nu/eckq

Replies (22) Good night (7167) Bad night (976)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.

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(847): Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer. http://tfl.nu/vx01

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(513): View more from Ohio

hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"

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(513): hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it" http://tfl.nu/04ug

Replies (4) Good night (5368) Bad night (780)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water

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(604): every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water http://tfl.nu/5vey

Replies (8) Good night (3158) Bad night (725) Order T-Shirt
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(+61): View more from Australia

She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.

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(+61): She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING. http://tfl.nu/6o0j

Replies (17) Good night (923) Bad night (1853) Order T-Shirt
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(207): View more from Maine

Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.

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(207): Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer. http://tfl.nu/w95z

Replies (3) Good night (2661) Bad night (1169)
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(718): View more from New York

So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.

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(718): So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/to2r

Replies (3) Good night (1057) Bad night (192)

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