just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.