I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS