Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....