It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
