I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
