Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You are the jesus of drinking
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