I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
