bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
