Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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