This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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