Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
