Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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