the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
