I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
The power of my boobs compel you
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
