Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
