my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
