Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Welp...herpes.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
