i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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