Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
