My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
