its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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