yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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