So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
