you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
So. Much. Porn.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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