I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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