is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
