i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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