when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize