dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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