Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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