She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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