I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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