Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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