i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
