no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
