the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i think i have two assholes
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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