i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
