New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
