Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Are we still banned from the library?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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