Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
