batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
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