she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We got so high we made milksteak
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
