Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
