Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
