She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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