Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
