Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
