I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
