I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
