4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
