so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
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I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
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He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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