I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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