Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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