If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
